


Craig Tucker is a College Boy

by HeyItsHoot



Category: South Park
Genre: Idfk just take it, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 02:33:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15596295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyItsHoot/pseuds/HeyItsHoot
Summary: Craig really hates South Park, but not everyone it in sucks completely.





	Craig Tucker is a College Boy

Sometimes, Craig Tucker really hated South Park. Well, actually, he just hated it in general. Some of the people weren’t completely terrible, most were assholes.

But, there were moments Craig just seethed anger about the town. It was a shitty place filled with shitty people who would do shitty things and live in the same shitty houses for their whole shitty lives. To be frank, and consistent, it was shitty. But, Craig was stopping the cycle. He was getting out of this fucked up town and never looking back.

So, he worked. Day after day, job after job. He saved every penny, working up to buy an old pick up truck from one of the shitty neighbors he had, and thought of nothing but getting the fuck out.

It was harder doing it alone, not that he’d ever admit that. Token was always hanging out with Clyde and Jimmy. Tweek and him had split recently since the town was finally at a place where Creek wasn’t the prime concern anymore, so he wasn’t often around the twitching mass of anxiety.

He saw Kenny sometimes, their jobs coincide as Kenny was trying to do the same thing he was, but it wasn’t more than Craig saw Clyde.

Craig was tired, exhausted from working. He never said anything, he wasn’t too bothered by it. He’d always been tired ever since he was a kid. Staying up until Tweek fell asleep for years like a good boyfriend kind of got you set into a routine. His grades never suffered, he needed to get into a good college after all, so his parents rarely gave him shit for it.

Sometimes, he missed being a kid. But, it was worth it. He was seventeen, almost eighteen. Graduation was coming up, though he was probably going to graduate early with how his classes are going. He was so, so close.

About a week after his last finals ever, Craig was awaiting a call from his current boss when he saw it in the mailbox. He’d never felt that scared. Inside the letter staring back at him was his future. Depending on what was inside, his whole life was going to get so much better or so much worse.

He’d called Token and Clyde before he took it out the mailbox, demanding they get their asses to his house right then. He hesitated after hanging up, but eventually called Tweek over too. Break up aside, Tweek was a big part of his life. Even Craig Fucking Tucker couldn’t resist calling someone that important for this.

Craig was still at his mailbox when the three arrived, Token in his car with Clyde in the back seat and Tweek on his bike. He didn’t answer their questions, just merely reached into the box and pulled out the form, handing it to Token. They went quiet. They all knew what this was to Craig, anything that got a high school kid like Craig to graduate a semester early was important.

Token had done the honors, opening the envelope carefully and holding his breath while the other three watched in anxious excitement. Tweek laid his hand on Craig’s shoulder to comfort him and swallowed hard as Token pulled the paper out slowly, scanning it furiously with his eyes. He looked up hesitantly, a sad look in his eyes.

Suddenly, Token’s face carved into a smile and he threw his hands in the air. “We’ve got ourselves a college boy!” The other two yelled out cheers, throwing themselves into Craig, who remained frozen. Token lifted the paper out to the raven haired boy, letting him read in disbelief at the words of acceptance.

He had done it. Craig Tucker was getting out of South Park.

“Craig, this is amazing!” Clyde moved back, smiling huge and waving his arms animatedly. “We gotta celebrate!”

Tweek was nodding, moving to Clyde’s side. “We kn-knew you could do it, C-Craig.”

“I can’t believe it.” Craig whispered, still frozen. “I did it.”

“Of course you did.” Token reached out, shaking his shoulder lightly to get him to relax a bit. “Still no smile? Man, you’re hard to please, Tucker.”

And then, as if by a miracle, Craig smiled bigger than anyone thought possible and let out a large scream consisting of a uppercase F-bomb followed by the word ‘yeah’ that would probably make the neighbors pissed. He didn’t care. This was it, his moment.

Kenny was proud of him. They were taking their smoke break outside of their job, for once their shifts lined up, and Craig had mentioned the acceptance letter he’d gotten two weeks prior.

“Congrats, Tucker. I knew you had it in you.” Kenny took a long inhale and leaned his head against the brick wall, smoke trailing out of his mouth. He reminded Craig of a dragon.

“Stuff it, McCormick.” Craig rolled his eyes. “You did too, just didn’t have the motivation.”

“Amongst other things.” Kenny side-eyed him. “So, you’re moving out there. When?”

“Next week.” Craig had already begun packing. His apartment was paid for by his parents for the first month and he already had a job lined up. He wanted to settle in for a few months before he started classes in the next semester.

“You’re not staying for your birthday?” Kenny finished off his cigarette and tossed it, crushing it beneath his beat up shoes.

“No reason to. I’d rather start working down there and get ready for school.” Craig tossed his smoke as well, letting it burn against the concrete. “Why do you care?”

“Tucker, we’re not kids anymore. Stop acting like we aren't friends.” Kenny shoved his shoulder, Craig flipping him off in response. “You should stay, spend it here.”

“We’re not kids anymore. You said it yourself. Birthdays just aren’t that big a deal.” Craig ran a hand through his hair. “Plus, I gotta unpack my stuff there and I need to be finished in time for work. I don’t have the time.”

“Well, how about I make you a deal?” Kenny faced the sky again. “I’ll help you pack up here and unpack there, then you come back on your birthday with me and we’ll spend it here. Your last birthday in South Park.”

“Why the fuck would I want you snooping through my stuff?” Craig made a face and leaned against the wall.

“Stop being an ass.”

“Why would I want to spend my birthday here anyway? I hate it here.”

Kenny huffed and stood tall, pushing Craig against the wall more than he already was, and fisted his hand in the gray colored shirt he was wearing. “Shut up and listen to me for one, Craig. You’re spending your fucking birthday here even if I have to drag you back here to do it.”

“Why are you touching me?” Craig wrapped his hands around Kenny’s fist and yanked it away from him, rolling his eyes in surrender. “Fine. I don’t have the energy to fight right now, so, whatever.”

Kenny smiled a big, toothy grin in response. “You can’t resist my charms after all these years, Tucker.”

“Suck my dick, McCormick.” Craig shoved him have heartedly and moved towards the door. “We have work to do, come on.”

“Ask my nicely and maybe I’ll be on my knees in a few weeks, Birthday Boy.” Kenny teased, winking as he passed Craig to head inside. Had Craig been anyone else, he would have blushed. But, he wasn’t. So, he didn't. He swears.

A week later, Kenny was in his room, folding clothes in the corner while Craig pretended not to see him staring as he took down the glow in the dark stars from his ceiling while standing on his bare bed. It was the last day of packing, just a few drawers of clothes and some wall decorations left, and Kenny had been helping more than the raven haired boy wanted to admit.

“You know, when you reach up to peel those off, your shirt rides up.” Kenny commented as if he were speaking about the weather. “You almost have abs.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kenny.” Craig responded, but didn’t turn away or attempt to hide his stomach. He didn’t really give a shit, so why act like he did? “Finish folding those. We’re leaving in a few hours.”

“Sure thing, babe.” Kenny teased and grinned at the glare Craig shot him. “Relax. I’m just joking.”

The next few hours passed in silence, the packing being completed mostly. Kenny had the last box of clothes, staring at something in his hand before turning to Craig, who raised his pierced eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m Kenny Tucker.” Kenny pulled on Craig’s old hat, his blonde hair sticking out around the edges as he smiled at Craig. The raven haired boy paused, unsure of how to react. It felt weird, his old hat and Kenny combined with the situation of him moving and going to college. “Craig?”

“Personally, I like Craig McCormick, but whatever you prefer.” Craig turned back and continued labeling the boxes. Behind him, Kenny flushed pink and opened his mouth to try to rebut, but found nothing coming out. “Crack kitty got your tongue?”

“You don’t play fair, Tucker.” Kenny left the hat on and taped up his box. “Never have, you cheap bastard.”

“That’s McCormick to you.” Craig returned, picking up the two boxes and heading downstairs. Kenny followed with his own, heading out to the truck. Craig had gotten a small moving truck earlier for the bigger boxes, but now they loaded the last few into his own new, and beat up, truck.

After goodbyes to his family and a promise to stop in when he came back for his birthday, Craig was all set to leave. Of course, that meant Kenny too. Since he’d made a deal to unpack as well, and didn’t trust Craig to come back on his own, Kenny was staying with him the week leading up to the twenty-eighth.

The drive was long, hours long, but Kenny filled the silence with loud music and laughter, something Craig appreciated. The blonde had kept the hat on the whole drive, something both different and natural feeling at the same time. When they finally arrived, it was well into the night, but they didn’t care. They carted up the mattress and the boxes upon boxes. They left everything out in the open space where the living room was and laid the mattress out near it, then gave up on unpacking.

“Mind sharing?” Kenny questioned, looking a bit unsure.

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” Craig shrugged. “Plus, I’m taking your last name. I think we can survive sharing a bed.”

Kenny rolled his eyes and opened a box they’d prepared before the truck had left. It had some clothes and a blanket and pillow. They made the bed and then Craig grabbed two set of clothes, tossing some to Kenny. They changed and Kenny seemed to realize he was wearing the hat still.

“Shit, I think this is yours?” Kenny pulled it off, blonde hair matted down and frizzy, offering it to the raven haired teen.

“Keep it. Looks better on you, anyway.” Craig ruffled his own hair, rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes before he yawned. “Besides, I haven’t worn it in forever.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Craig Middle Fingers Up Tucker?” Kenny asked, moving the hat closer to him and gripping it tight. “You sure I can keep it? It’s pretty nostalgic.”

“Exactly. I don’t want to remember South Park, Ken.” Craig sat on the mattress and looked up at him. “Sleep or get out.”

“Bossy, bossy.” Kenny shoved the hat back on before crawling beside him and relaxing into the bed. Sleep came easy for once.

A week later, Craig was regretting his decisions.

He’d fully unpacked his stuff, thanks to his blonde companion, and had even redone the stars on his bedroom ceiling. It was fairly nice looking. He didn’t regret that.

Agreeing to return to South Park? He regretted that big time.

Kenny, stupid and stubborn Kenny. Blonde, blue chullo hat wearing, blue eyed, asshole McCormick.

Craig really didn’t want to go back. He was here, living away from all the shitty things he wanted to get away from and now he had to go back. He’d tried the past few days to get out of it, but Kenny had held his ground. Sure, Craig respected his stubbornness, but it was far too irritating to deal with.

So, here he was, dressed in his old blue hoodie Kenny had insisted he wear, and parked outside of City limits, Craig felt his stomach drop. Kenny and him were sitting here, adjusting. Craig didn’t have to ask to know Kenny was hesitating too.

“Want a smoke first?” Craig asked. He wanted one himself, but he didn’t want Kenny to feel like he was bitching out.

“No, let’s just go. I’m sure you’re ready to get this over with and get rid of me and South Park.” Kenny smiled at him, the yellow fluff ball at the top of the hat moving as the blonde turned.

“Here we go.” Craig took a deep breath, starting up the car and pulling back into the road and heading into the city. It was silent, no music filling the car like usual. This was too different. Watching the town they hated fill their view in the night as they drove to Token’s house, having been so far away only to return back here. It made their hope dwindle, even though Craig was already out.

They pulled up outside, the party raging inside, and Craig glared at Kenny. “You said just us.”

“It was just us. Don’t blame me for this.” Kenny looked confused as well, so Craig believed him. The car turned off and they got out, heading for the door of the mansion. Token, Wendy, and Kyle were lounging outside on the porch.

“Craig! You’re here! Finally!” Token waved excitedly, most likely drunk off his ass. “Hey Kenny!”

“Token, what the fuck is this?” Kenny asked.

“Nicole and him broke up. Next thing we knew, mass text about a party here was sent around to everyone but Nicole.” Wendy answered, helping Token sit down. “Sorry Craig. Happy Birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Craig looked around the yard full of cars. “Do I have to go in?”

“No.” Kyle poked his head over the side of his chair. “I can run in and get Clyde and them for you?”

“Thanks Kyle.” Kenny smiled his charming smile and Kyle shot up, rushing inside to get Clyde. Craig faced him and gave him a look. “What? I’m sorry, okay? This isn’t my fault.”

“I know that. I just...After I see Clyde, can we go anywhere else? Literally anywhere.” Craig pulled at his hair softly with one hand, glancing off to the side at the street. “I hate parties like this.”

“Yeah, I have a few spots.” Kenny played with the string of his own jacket.

“Craig! My man!” Clyde burst through the doors, running at Craig and throwing his arms around the raven in a large hug. Craig gagged at the smell of alcohol, but shrugged it off when Clyde backed off and seemed sober. It must just be the party clinging to him. “Happy Birthday, dude!”

“Thanks Clyde.”

“How is it outside of South Park? Meet any guys you like?” Clyde winked.

“Does anyone ever really leave South Park? I am back, after all.” Craig ignored the second question. “Anyway, I’m just stopping in for a minute. No party for us.”

“I get it, never was your thing.” Clyde smiled brightly in that friendly way he always did. “Hey, I’m taking Token to breakfast before school tomorrow. You should join us. I’m sure he’s gonna feel like shit.”

“Yeah, just text me.” Craig looked to Kenny. “We should go.”

“Night Craig. Happy Birthday, again.” Clyde smacked his arm and headed back inside. Kenny and Craig turned to each other and Kenny shrugged.

“Want to go piss on the school football field?”

Craig blinked before he shrugged. “What the hell? Let’s go.”

Twenty minutes later, they’d broken into their high school and successfully peed on the fifty yard line before retreating under the bleachers to sit down and smoke. Kenny was grinning hugely, face red from the cold.

“I’ve always wanted to do that here.” Kenny took a large puff, the light of the end reflecting in his eyes.

“You have small life goals.” Craig returned, flipping Kenny off as the blonde blew smoke at him.

“Tell me about it. I’ve completed half of them already.” Kenny paused his smoke to sneeze. “And you?”

“My goals are fine. Other than never come back to South Park, I’m doing just fine.”

“You’re never letting that go, are you?” Kenny asked, tossing the now finished cigarette down and huffing. “You’re kind of bitch, sometimes.”

“Suck my dick.” Craig rolled his eyes before backtracking. “Not literally. I’m not in the mood.”

“Oh yeah, cause I’m so eager to have your dick in my mouth.” Kenny laughed, rolling his eyes. “Get over yourself, Tucker.”

Craig smiled, turning to hide it from Kenny. It was quiet briefly, then Kenny’s shitty Hello Kitty watch went off. He looked at it and then back at Craig, who turned to look back at him.

“Happy Birthday. It’s midnight.” Kenny was pretty, smiling like that.

“Thanks McCormick.” Craig tossed his cigarette after one final puff and sighed, standing tall. Kenny joined him, looking up a tiny bit since Craig was taller, and continued smiling goofily. “You know, I don’t hate this birthday. Okay, that’s a lie. It’s so shitty. But, I don’t hate what you tried to do, so, thank you. I guess.”

“You’re a big softy, aren’t you Tucker?” Kenny was pink cheeked, but Craig ignored it. “It’s cute.”

“Fuck it.” Craig reached out, grabbing Kenny’s cold face and pulling him close, pressing his lips to the blonde’s own. He had to lean down a bit, but it was a comfortable lean, unlike any kiss with Tweek. He was too tall and Tweek too short. This? This was perfect.

Kenny held Craig’s arms by his elbows, pulling him closer as he kissed back eagerly, the tip of his nose ice against Craig’s warm cheek. His fingers brushed the hat on Kenny’s head and he felt himself smile a bit before Kenny slid his right hand into his hair, tugging slightly. The raven haired teen gasped a tiny bit at the sensation and released Kenny’s lips, foreheads touching.

“Happy Birthday to me.” Craig whispered, eyes opening to see Kenny’s closed still, as if he was still taking it all in.

The blue eyes opened after a moment and Kenny, grinning as he always did, rolled them at Craig. “Happy Birthday indeed.”

Inspired by this art from Aishishi on Deviantart


End file.
